gday maattteee!!!!

assalamualaikum wbt.

it's been awhile. yeah i know. been very occupied these past few weeks. assignments of course. alhamdulillah, i'm doing well. i guess. as usual, for every semester, we are to have our PBS and this time, Intan was with me at kelantan.

so that picture explains everything. Intan was enjoying her time there even she had some difficulties with the Kelantanese accent which was a total alien for her. i glad that she had the chance to be there as it was the first time for her to be there. she mixed well with my family well, easier to say she's one of ma's daughters now. and it was nice to have her around. thanks, vy. it was an awesome week. 

You.

"I can't say hello to you and risk another goodbye."

i put the 'pro' in procrastinate.

assalamualaikum wbt.

alhamdulillah. praised to the Almighty that i've given  another chance to face the Ramadhan. and yes again, it's the ah, i've lost the count of the Ramadhan i spent away from home. homesick? nahh, tell me something i don't know. there's not a day i don't call ma and tell her i want to go back home.

it's the second semester of my degree life. and yes, things are not getting any easier. if someone said it's easy to be teacher, come, here's my shoes, have a walk in it but make sure you lace it up nicely, i'm afraid you might fall during the first attempt.

there's nothing much i can say about what's going on with my life right now except for maybe i'm going back home in a week time (yeay!) but i have bunch of assignments need to be submitted before this coming holiday ( T__T)  and as usual, i haven't done any of it because i'm cool that way. no, not because i'm cool but it's just me being the best procrastinator i am. children, do not try this at home. please, do your homework or assignments as soon as you get them so you don't have to drink redbull every night just to make you stay awake and leave you to be a zombie in the morning. trust me, that's what i do. and it feels good. just for a while and then you'll regret it.

take now as an example. i am supposed to settle my children's literature's assignment where i have to find short stories and analyse it but i end up updating this and yeah, checking out OneDirection's latest pictures and updates (i'm a directioner. blame my sisters). boo me, boo me. and tomorrow, i'll end up beating up myself. and i know i will regret it next morning but still, here i am, happily knocking on the keyboard typing these words.

aha. story of my life. 

SBE.

assalamualaikum wbt.

the only reason why i'm writing this post is because two days ago, i told intan about how long i haven't keep my blog updated and she gave me an answer that made me realise, ah i need to write something. but that's the problem with me. i have like lots of ideas here in my beloved brain but when i'm about to start typing, i'll be having that so-called-writer's-block. *sigh*

oh, since i had done my SBE ( this is a programme need to be be done by all trainee teachers like me where you have to go to a school, any school of your choice and spend a week there.) so for me, i chose my former school back there at Kelantan, SK Langgar. being honest, i got all goosebumps just by thinking of meeting my former teachers. so the first day, it went well. standing in front of the crowd, as a teacher, singing  the song i used to 9 years ago. and yes, all my teachers, they were beyond excited to see me there. never thought of this hyperactive girl to be a teacher.

these kids, they made me realise what i am about to face another 4 years and yes, they gave me a very strong reason to be a good teacher for them. 

they made me feel how happy it is to be a teacher. well, you know, new teacher got the most attention from the students. the kids were all trying to talk to you and salam and stuff and you would feel like you were an artist for that one week. and i think, the last day was the hardest day of all. there was one student, he was in the last class. i was about to walk out of the school when he grabbed my hand and said "Don't leave, I promise I'll read better next week."

that, shattered my heart into pieces. the first time i went to his class, he did not even want to read. but he made me a promise. i was speechless. there was nothing much i can say. ah, my heart was not as strong as it used to be. not anymore when it comes to these kids. 

i miss them. they were my boys at school. oh yes, not to forget that i have a brother there, but since he was busy with his classes, i couldn't have the chance to have a picture with him plus he was being jealous with other kids who would be coming to me. adik, when are you going to grow up? T___T

p/s :    :)  

:)

assalamualaikum wbt.

hari pertama persekolahan. sebelum ni tak pernah terfikir untuk ada dalam situasi ni. dulu masa sekolah, bising, asyik fikir bila nak besar nak masuk U nak kerja. tapi sekarang, bila dah masuk matrik, start balik asasi di IPG ni, rasa nak balik ke alam persekolahan. asasnya, aku masih lagi di alam persekolahan. cuma yg membezakan alam tu, aku now 20 eh i mean 21 then pakai baju kurung bunga bunga dan boleh bawak handphone masuk kelas. itu sahaja. kadang kadang rasa nak tergelak pun ada. dulu bukan main kata tak nak jadi cikgu.

"ah, aku tak kira. cikgu tu memang tak ada dalam list kerja impian aku."

maklumlah, dulu hajat di hati kejap nak jadi doktor, kejap nak jadi pakar forensik pastu nak jadi doktor balik. tak tetap. nama pun hati.  tapi tengok lah sekarang. pakai baju kurung, bawak bagpack, dan dipanggil 'cikgu' dan insyaALLAH, bakal jadi cikgu. itulah, ma selalu cakap, jangan benci sangat, nanti sayang jadinya.

being honest, aku takde lah respect mana pun pekerjaan cikgu ni dulu. dalam hati selalu kata,

"senang aje jadi cikgu ni. mengajar benda sama tiap tahun, lain orang aje yang diajarnya."

bila ingat balik perangai dulu, rasa malu dengan diri sendiri. masa masa ni lah, terkenang balik segala apa yang pernah dibuat at sekolah dulu. komen pakaian cikgu, asyik nak rehat awal, banyak sangat kalau nak listkan. rindu pulak zaman pakai kain biru. time tu rasa : sekolah ini, ana yang punya.

sekarang, bila jemput adik dengan kakchik dari sekolah, bermacam jenis students kita boleh tengok. masa tu lah hati rasa nak pergi betulkan apa yang mata rasa tak sedap pandang. padahal tengok budak budak tu macam tengok diri sendiri masa pakai kain biru. macam tengok cermin. mungkin ini yang orang kata matang. umur dah makin matang, dah mula boleh fikir yang sebenarnya, dunia ini bukan ana yang punya tapi dunia ini ana kongsi dengan ramai orang lain. mungkin. dan mungkin jugak aku dah dapat aura cikgu. cikgu disiplin? HAHA.