should i tell anyone dat aku really x sedia ag nk tggalkan umah?? shud i tell anyone dat aku x nk p??? ooo tidaaaaaaaaak!!! kompem kne sembur ngan ba n kne lecture ngn ma..sbenarnya,aku xtau pe yg aku feel now...sdeyh...takut smua ada..ari isnin ni aku akn p..NEGERI SEMBILAN..adus..asal n9 plak??? aku lnsung xde spe kt sne...relatives aku smua duk putrajaya..tu la yg paling dekat..aku dengar ru dh nk mraung dh..but as usuall..big girls dun cry...

how aku nk face ni??? ma n ba wont be around anymore...aku akn jd lonesome kt sne..kwn mmg senang nk cari tp..aduh..papapbear wont be here mse aku orientasi nnti..asal awk kne p jaoh sgt b???? x p xleh ke???? kt spe aku nk story klu dia xde??? klu ckp ngn ma kompem aku only akn nangis je bkn ckp..papabear...??? 

dua tiga ari ni aku wt sikit prubahan kt umah..aku dh x kesah klu adik nk masuk main n sepahkan bilik aku..aku dh x marah dia ble dia usik barang2 aku..sbb aku tau i'm going to miss all those thing..ALLAH knows how much i'm going to miss them..kakchik pn dh x gaduh ngan aku dh dua tiga ari ni...amir pn kurangkan xtvt buli dia kt aku...mcm mna ni??? aku takut sgt2 aku x tahan n trus nk balik...tu yg aku risau...ya ALLAH..kuatkanlah semangat aku kt sne nnti...

beg smua dh siap pack..smua sanak saudara dh hantar mesej ucap selamat n some of them dh call bg nasihat yg panjang lebar..ada plak yg dh dtg umah along with gulungan ucapan nasihat yg wat aku rse mcm aku ni nk p study 5 tahun plak...ba diam aje...sdeyh ke ba??? kakak pn sdeyh nk tinggal ba...ngan ba mmg aku xleh nk kata apa..aku mmg close ngn dia..apa yg aku x dpt from ma,ba for sure akn bg aku..ba byk stuju ngn aku klu nk banding ngn ma..ba lebih easy going ngan aku..ma plak,such a cool one..garang tu mmg la tp aku tau its for my own good...klu ngn ma,aku msti kne bsoal jawab dulu klu nk dpt pe yg aku nk..n aku ni plak jenis kurang mendengar kata so mmg la aku akn slalu kena marah ngn ma..ba pernah ckp,aku ngn ma x bayak beza pn..sikap ktorang sme je..so ma ni pn degil gak la tu kn?? hahaha...tp aku syg both of them..x ckp ngn dorang satu hari  aku dh rse pelik..ni xtaula cmne aku nk survive kt sne..

papabear plak,dia dh dpt pe yg dia dream all dis time..alhamdulillah..he worked very hard for dat n at last dia dpt jgak..n i'm so proud of him..i know he can make it...aku doakan yg terbaik buat dia..and may ALLAH bless him in what ever he do..n aku doakan gak dia x lupa aku so dat dis relation will always stand through d test of time..may dia dpt smua yg ada dlm dream dia tu..may papabear always happy dgn smua org di sekeliling dia...AMIN....

start esk..aku da nk kne say babai to SMIP...sdeyh nye...skolah kt sne x smpai pn sbulan tp aku da nk kne tggal skul tu...aku dpt form 6 sains d smip..mula2 bkn main susah lg nk p..malas la..boring la..xde smangat la..mcm2 alasan kluar..tp ble dh masuk,ade smthing remarkable dlm klas tu..6 BAWAH IBNU HAYYAN...form tcher is Pn.Rozmuni which is super cool and fun...ckgu2 PA yg mmg syok siot...ckgu MT T yg mmg sempoi habis...ckgu CHEM yg loving..ckgu BIO yg hebat n classmate yg syok! amalin,faezah,nafisah,ajiera,rukiah,amirah yg bertiga tu..eppy,salam,khalis,anam,ikhwan,hanif,amri,ihsan...u guys mmg rock habis la! ade je jwpn yg buat ckgu x jd nk marah kat korang kn???? msti aku akn rndu gler ngn korang smua ni...

mungkin masuk form 6 tu bkn sesuatu yg memalukan...so spe2 yg merendah2kan form 6,think again..byk yg aku dpt dri f6 ni..kenangan..aduh..skali lg aku kne left aku nyer safe situation...babai guys..welkam matrik...aku da dpt ape yg aku dream..n now,aku kne jadikan dream aku tu something yg bleh membanggakan smua org...wish me luck there..aku nk jd yg terbaik...smip n all bdk2 6BIH...aku akn rindu korang sgt2! aku akn ingat all ur jokes n laugh tu..aku akn simpan kemas smua nasihat korang tu..thanks guys coz bg aku chance utk kenal korang n jadi kawan korang....aku mmg sedeyh nk tggal korang tp korang jgak yg ckp all gud things bout matriks kan?? ade jodoh pnjang umo kte jmpa lg..aku xkn lupa korang....trust me!!!!

post kali ni just 4 inche papabear yg terchenta...

oooooooooooook.nk tau smething? i love you! haa...dats d most important...awk,kali ni keputusan sy bkn sbb sy degil atau ikut ckp org..it's because i want to..yup..mybe sy x pernah gtau awk tp ni one of my dream...pluang datang skali sj..so sy amek pluang niy..sy xnk lepaskan peluang yg mcm ni..sy tau awak x yakin sy dpt survive kt sne..awk ckp mybe sy sangkut n akn mraung lg kuat dri mse yg duk kt kedah tu..tp sy nk prove myself n all people around me dat i can do this...to be honest sy harap when sy kol awk,awk akn epy to hear about this..tp awk x sound like awk epy..xpe..sy fhm..sy tau awk x yakin ngn sy kn?? tp bg sy chance nk prove myself..sy bleh wt niy... tolong have faith in me...awk my important person in my life n i need ur full support..plis papabear..pray me d best...sy perlu awk utk sokong sy..tolong sy b???

my janji,i wont forget u..my papabear..xkn nk forget papabear kot??? chubby is not so chubby without her papabear...ok?? plis plis plis plis plis plis plis plis.................

arini ujan..hmmmmmm..mcm tau2 je aku tgh upset kn??? evrything doesn't seem so right since last nite..oh..how aku nk ckp niy??? aku JELES! yes..dat's d right word..aku amat jeles dgn pe yg aku dgr last nite...xkn aku nk bgitau dia kot yg aku jeles ngn dat girl??? kol smpai 3 kali juz to tnye about further study..??? huh! dgn bdak gor tu aku x rse cmni...dgn bdak gor tu aku marah tp ngn dis girl aku takut...xtau npe...mybe sbb dia first name yg aku dgr mse aku tnye sape yg dia suka..ALLAH..i need some help here..aku jeles...xkn dia xtau kot????

got a call from syirah td..huuuuuuuuu...how i miss her..ni klau papabear tau msti kena bebel ngan dia..alahai...well,syirah is having hard time now...she cried when we were talking..ohoooooooooo...aku smpat wat drama air mata td...syirah ni..dh tau aku ni mcm ni suka sgt wat aku risaukan dia...npe??? cian dia...syirah bkn mcm aku..dia diam aje..aku ni jnis byk mulut ckit (well,tu pe yg ma n bab ckp..setau aku,aku hanya ada satu mlut) xpela..ni syirah,dia ckp,yg makhluk halus 3 eko tu layan dia mcm kt skul dlu2..ni yg aku x syok dengar..to be honest,aku rindu gler2 kt syirah..kt skul,aku ngn dia je...now,when aku dh back to skul,rse pelik sgt2! slalu aku akn 'tawaf' skul ngn syirah but now..im a lonely girl...len sgt rse skarang..rindu sgt kt syirah..rindu nk dengar prangai gler2 die tu...rindu nk ckp2 ngan dia...rindu nk dengar dia ajar aku bio..rindu nk tgk dia wt muka sardin dia tu..aku miss everything about syirah..papabear,dia mntak maaf sbb ckp cmtu kt sy smalam...ok..hanis hanini dh masuk mode poyo dh..isk isk isk!!!!!


dh! kluar dri mode poyo masuk mode gler2 jap..ahahahhahaha..amir balik..yeyeyeyeyeyeyeyei! adik aku balik...ilang la rindu tu dengar dia ckp x henti2...cian ma,ank2 ma smua jnis mulut tu x reti duk diam...aku je yg baik (ahaaaaaaaaa..klu tau dek b kering aku kne gelak ngan dia *shhhhhhh).....ma n ba pn nmpak epy dgn keputusan aku tu...yup..caye x niy??? hanis hanini mendengar saranan inche papabear yg terchenta! haaaaaaaaaa....lg brita hot..papabear ckp ngn ma! magik kn??? aku mmg x caye tp ble ma wt muke serius,i know ma not jokin...hahahaha..chubby is sooooooooo happy to hear dat.... =) syg awk la dear!!!!!

so surat tukar aliran aku dh amek..nk tggu serah je..so babai aliran sains...huhuhuhuhuhuuhuhuhuhu

SYIRAH n DEEZA dh slamat smpai kt KULIM...n aku plak dh selamat daftar form 6..well,dis is not what i want but dis is what i get..kata tokmama,ma,ba, "ni semua rezeki kkak..maybe ada yg lg baik waiting 4 u ahead." how i wish it would be true..FRUSTRATED..tu yg aku rase now..all yg aku dream all dis time lnsung x dapat..org cakap sabar,ni smua dugaan..tp tu lah,aku yg rasa smua ni...all family member mcm x pcaya aku x dpt..soalan wajib mesti "ASAL X DAPAT?" klau la ku tahu jawapan tu..if only i have d answer for that...aku rasa aku dh start lost hope..give up is the best perkataan for dis maybe...tp..i dun know..smua rasa dh mixed together smpai aku xleh nk explain pe yg aku rse now....

now,aku kliru lg..kali ni dgn keinginan aku n keinginan ma n ba...both nk aku amek pe yg dorang nk...well,dorang x paksa but dorang HARAP...tu yg aku lemah...papabear pn nk aku amek sastera gak..main aim : TESL...can i really get dat tesl thing? aku penat..letih...

now,aku totally rasa hopeless! i need some help...i miss my frens,aku pning ngn situation now n aku x suka ngan pe yg aku rse ni....aku need help..aku xnk let down ma n ba again...mybe pe yg they tell me btol..mybe aku ptut dengar pe yg papabear gtau aku kali ni..it's for my own good...yup..mybe sastera is for me...

why is it too hard for me to get what i want?

ITS MY BIRTHDAY! hahahaha..da 18 da..dh tua dh...sob sob sob! thn ni mybe birthday yg paling x syok..sbb my besfren,p matrik..my adik pn p matrik..huhuhuhuhuhuhuhu...................sdeynya hati...tlking about my BFF tu,aku kluar ngan dia ari rabu yg leps...last meeting before she left for kulim...sdey..aku nearly nangis tp as usuall..BIG GIRLS DUN CRY....kami jmpa,makan2 n nk tau,aku wt keychain tau...comel sangat! it's something remarkable for me...biarla aku je yg tau...sbb dia dh nk pergi,aku dpt adiah birthday awl...comel adiah tutau...petang plak,deeza mai umah..ngn faa...dpt adiah awl...lg...its an H necklace..lawa sangat..n mlam td aku ckp2 ngn papabear for almost n hour...best..dia tnya sal aku pnye impian...hahha..tp ku rse aku x gtau papabear in detail..sbb aku MALU! pelik kn aku ni??? ok..meh aku gtau pe dream aku...


my dream is,aku nk capai smua cita2 aku dlu..then bila aku dh dpt tu,aku hanya nk spend my WHOLE LIFE ngan my love one..papabear?? Are u ready for that? tu je impian aku..n then pe jugak impian dia will be my impian tu..x kira la...skrip org2 tua ke..it's my dream too!

alamak! dh turn jd poyo dh...b................miss u la..anyway,thanks for being first wisher! syg awk....x nk jd org yg lst kt sy ke utk mlm ni??? hehehe..tp kn,satu j..mne text wish awk?????? nk jgak.......eheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...papabear,arini mummy awk dtg umh...syok! sy spend my time ngan dia ari ni...x nk jeles ke???? hahahaha..best nye kaco awk...

ma n ba plak dh wish aku pg2 lg.. "kakak nk makan apa hari ni? It's ur birthday..." sdeyhnye ble ma tnya mcm tu..nk tau,kali ni jgak birthday aku,amir takde...amir tu adik akula...yg no dua...di duk asrama...klu di ada msti lg best...sbb adik aku yg tu gler2 ckit prangai...suka...smalam p mlawat dia..ah! aku rindu siot ngn adik aku yg sorang tu..jmpa je aku trus dia "Kakak!" PELUK AKU! hahahaha...dh besar adik aku ni rupanya...dulu aku gaduh je ngan dia...tp skarang ble dh besar ku pn wt perjanjian damai gan amir yusoff ni...rindu l kt di..bile ko nk balik mir??? x rindu kakak ke???

OLD FRIEND

happy happy happy!!!! dat's what i feel now!!!!! i got a call from WANI just now...hahahaha..yes..wani yg plkn tu....aku x tau tu nombor die.." ni hanis ke?? x cam ke sape niy?" ah,aku dh kaget...sape ni?? wanilah..hahahaha...suara yg td ala2 miss world dh tukar brutal..

that's me n wani..kenangan ngn die kt kem x la sebanyak n selama kenangan aku ngn g..tp presence dia ajar aku byk benda...she's one of the girls yg aku boleh panggil sahabat..wani only stay di kem for 5 days...satu mse yg singkat but long enough for me to know her n love her! wani seorang yg CUKUP-CUKUP menyenangkan...cool...sporting...n SELAMBA N SATU KEPALA ngan aku!! hahaha..tu yg penting...kt kem,aku,g n wani dh mcm adik bradik...kt mne ada aku di situ ade wani n g...g yg pling lawa,lembut n sopan santun..wani yg kecik n putih lawa..aku ni kre yg mcm bongsu pnye dlm 3 org tu...hahahaha..wani n g la kakak aku di kem...tp sayang,wani kena balik awal sbb dia asma kronik...aku la yg paling truk nangis when wani datang jumpa aku pagi tu...sedih siot...aku ingat wani kidding je bila dia cakap die kne balik tp bila aku tgk dia ngn beg besar aku tau wani serius....oooooo..sedih wo ble kne bpisah ngn wani..dia saaaanggaat understanding...ckp la pe pn dia akn dengar je..nk kutuk2 pn dia x kisah..aku mmg rapat ngn dia n g..g pn sama nangis ngn aku..sdeyh! aku ingt ag ari last dia kt kem tu,dia dtg jmpa aku n peluk aku erat2! dia ckp "jgn lupa aku...aku syg ko!" ah,ayat tu yg buat aku nangis 3 hari 2 malam (mcm pakej percutian pulak kan??)

mmg aku x lupa wani..in fact XKAN lupa wani..sayang wani

ooooo..kay..hmmm..today,let's talk about MAKANAN....adakah anda memakan SIPUT??? bukan SEAFOOD ya??? SIPUT..ya SIPUT..binatang yang ade cengkerang kat blakang yang ade sesungut..eh eh! tu siput babi..mne ade org mkn siput babi! pe ko ngarut ni hanis??? ok ok ok...its siput sedut la klu x silap aku...yg org duk masak tu...siput sedut ke??? yela kot..alah,siput yg boleh dimakan...adakah anda memakan makanan tersebut??? jika ya,tahniah kerana anda sudah berjaya membuatkan saya kagum dgn anda...hahaha...btol..kagum gler aku ngn org yg makan segala jenis siput yg boleh dimakan ni..nk dijadikan cerita,weekends yg lepas tokma msk siput..masak pe aku xtau...aku tgk tu ok je..tp then when time lunch,aku dh kaget ble ayh su suh aku mkn...uhuuuuuuuuuu..xmau la! aku xmau mkn..aku xnk mkn...to be honest,aku GELI....ayh su gelak kt aku bagai nk rak bila aku kte aku x makan tu..dia ckp "Kakak,org xde class je yg x makan sipu tau?? Rugi la klu x mkn ni tau..best.." huh! ciksu pn sme je..duk gelak2...siap tnye "kkak,nnti klu papabear kkak nk mkn siput?? cmne kkak nk masak????" oh ho! btol jgak tu....disebabkan risau yg terlampau,aku pn msj inche papabear yg terchenta..tnya dia dia mkn ke x...dia pn reply "NO...SY X MKN...X SUKE.." ah hahahahahahahahahaha..time tu rse epy gler ala2 nk menari je dlm bilik tu..nasib baik...sayang papabear..in my famliy,smua mkn mknan yg pelik2 tu except 4 aku...ma dh mmg cop ank sulung dia ni susah nk mmpos bab2 mkn ni..byk sgt bnda aku x mkn...papabear tau...smpai mse aku kt PLKN dia ckp "MKN TU JGN NK MEMILIH,KANG NNTI CMNE NK ADE ENERGY KLU YG TU X MKN YG NI X MKN..." pnjng lebar lg la dia pnyer ceramah tu tp as usuall,korang rse aku dengar ke???? hahaha..aku ttp memilih bab2 mkn ni...hahahah..sori syg...

okeh..lets talk about last nite..aku kluar smalam..nk tau,aku jmpa smone yg muka dia sebijik mcm papabear..eh x la sebijik..ala2..1st time aku tgk tu mmg aku ingt dia..ya ALLAH..terkejut..dh la dia duk kt depan aku! aku tgk jap...kompem bukan syg aku..sbb syg aku lagi ensem dari tu...maybe dia prasan aku tgk die,dia pn tgk aku blk...ciap wt muka pelik lg..aku pn wt bodo je la...pe?? mcm nk cari masalah je mamat ni..end of story,aku blah je when dia duk tgk aku mcm nk mkn org..hidung aku ada satu lubang je ke???? ee...menakutkan la dia tu...aku gtau la inche papabear yg terchenta tu..hahaha...comel je reaction dia..adeke dia ckp die jeles??? ingt aku sangkut ngn mamat tu la tu....x mungkin la..my love for him is too strong for me to walk away from him...len la zac efron ke,jensen ackles ke,johnny depp ke,orlando bloom ke....haaaaaaaaaa...eh x x...gurau je tu b...jgn marah...