a wish upon a star.

it's 30th December. not yet the day. but still, i'll be wishing you. 

i really hope you  like the present. i'm no good in choosing present. i'll improve. i wish you all the best papabear. may ALLAH always bless you. may ALLAH granted all your wish. may all of your dreams come true. may you will always be happy. good luck in every little thing you do. i'll pray you the best. you always have me. thanks for all the time you've spent with me. listening to those chitty chat, tears, gossips, everything sweetheart. everything. thanks. i may be not the best for you but i'll try y best to be the one for you. have faith in us. in me. as i always do in you. 

p/s : and if you're reading this, i'm singing incy wincy spider now. 

the end.

2011 is nearly to its end. this year : it's AWESOME! thanks for all the memories.

ma and ba, you're always the best. thanks ALLAH, for them. i can't ask for more.

papabear, it's awesome to know you. to have you. how can i ask  for more? you're the miracle. you're the magic. you're everything.

H6P5, you guys are always, the best.

TESL 1, i know, all of you will be the greatest teachers ever. 

may 2012 brings us more happiness than before. may ALLAH bless us all.

 source : mista gugel

p/s : all the best. i love you much.

home.

i'm home. finally. alhamdulillah.

KPOP

So today me, Sammani and Shashini along with their buddy, Tiffany went to a shop. A k-pop shop. I never thought that one day I'd go to that kind of place. Aku ni bukan lah minat sangat pun kepop ni. So I went there. Iyelah, dari bazirkan masa aku dengan tidur je baik aku bergerak sikit kan? It was 2 minutes journey and we went there by taxi.

Masuk je aku dah dengar lagu lagu kepop berkumandang. Well, I'm not kutuk those kepop because adat lah kan kat dunia ni banyak stream of music. I was laughing to myself when I was in the shop.  Iyelah, aku ni tengok movie korea boleh bilang dengan jari adik aku je. I'm not that into kepop. But Sammani and Shashini are. They bought 11 posters of Jang Geun Suk. alah, guy yang berlakon dalam cerita Baby and Me tu lah. He is comel anyway.

Me? I bought nothing. I was there just for fun. But adalah jugak aku usya Lee Minho punya poster. But sadly, no. It's okay. At least gemok wont be mad kan? Imagine how is he kalau aku balik dari sini bawak balik poster Lee Minho. Hah, mahu ada yang merajuk.

It's good to see all those stuff. As for I know, I wont be in that kind of place when I go back to Malaysia.

may our path will cross again :')

Max is leaving. well actually, she already left. we woke up early today. it's hard for me but it's time to say good bye to her. it's so sad to say good bye. she's so nice. she's like the flower for all of us. with that pretty smile of hers, she lighted our days. my days wont feel so perfect without her climbing the stairs up to our room and talking for hours and listening to her speaking Tagalog with her mum and she kept giving me new songs to listen to. I'm going to miss her. like a lot. :') it wont be the same without her. i know that.

but life goes on. i'll miss her and all the time we'd spent together. she taught me lots of things. things that i wont get if i'm not here. i have bunch of new friends. it's like family. i've been with her for a month but it seems like i've known her for ages! i'm gonna miss this place. even if i'm not that in love with it.

i wont say good bye. good bye is the end. this is not the end. we'll meet again. love you.

Randomly random.

assalamualaikum wbt.

Dah nak masuk 3 minggu dah aku duk kat bumi Vietnam ni. Mula mula tu macam rajin kan nak hapdet each day but then aku dah malas dah. Gene tu tetap ada walau di mana aku berada. *senyum sumbing* Okay, so tiga minggu kat sini, ajar aku BANYAK benda. Sangat banyak in fact.

Macam mana nak put into words? Kat sini, pukul 5.30 tu dah gelap dah. Kadang kadang rasa diri sendiri jakun bila keluar hostel pukul 6 dah macam pukul 8.35 kat Malaysia. Pastu mula rasa nak hilang identiti sebab confused. Then kat sini, English bukan second language which means, ramai orang tak tahu nak speaking. So that's a problem untuk kami kami di sini. Kot kalau aku boleh cakap Vietnam macam cakap dengan ma aku tak kisah. It's kinda hard. Then here, kami kena buat seminar on Career Orientation. Well, muka aku ni jadi faci la. Hiehhiehhieh. Tak tercapai dek akal kan? But hey, there's always first time for everything. The seminar thing? It's not a big deal for us.

Sebenarnya, nak cakap Vietnam ni not a nice country, aku rasa i'm not being fair pulak sebab for me, each country has its own attraction. So vietnam ni lawa. Penuh dengan culture. Honking sana sini sampai aku dah lali dengan situasi tu. Jalan yang busy gilanakmati. One thing aku respect these Vietnamese is, dorang sangat rajin bekerja. Yes they are. They would do almost everything to keep on living. I'm proud to be a Malaysian and of course, I'm super duper whooper proud to be a Muslim. Kalau dulu aku rasa macam nak gigit je kalau ada yang tengok aku semacam bila aku jalan. Ye lah kan, aku bertudung. So some eh no, most of the people akan usya semacam. Hey, kau ingat aku nak buat apa hah? But then aku realise, this is the time for me to show them what Islam really is. Especially bila ada some of them yang sangat teruja dengan tudung yang aku pakai. Ada yang suruh aku pakaikan la bagai. It made me proud. Sungguh tak tipu.

Homesick? HAHA! It's my middle name. tapi sejak beli number Vietnam ni selalu la jugak aku call ma and ba. And yes yes, gemuk too. But it's not the same. Frankly, aku dah sabar sabar nak balik sebenarnya. Aku dah tak sabar nak spend time kat rumah. Okay. Sebenarnya tadi, banyak gila yang ada dalam kepala otak aku ni. Tapi tiba tiba aku tak tahu nak tulis apa. So I end it up here. Nanti kalau aku ada something yang aku rasa nak tulis, aku tulis.

these are the view of the Hoan Kiem Lake. 

p/s : i miss u.

quater phase.

assalamualaikum wbt.

kali ni lari sikit track from that Hanoi thingy. well actually, i had already done with me first semester of foundation. mungkin not practically sebab aku cabut awal dua minggu from sana. tapi its that aku glad aku sempat spend banyak time dengan mereka mereka.

for all the teslian of TESL 1 June 2011 intake, u guys takkan tahu how glad i am to get to know u guys. even masa mula mula masuk aku rasa macam aku loser gila sebab aku lewat setahun kot masuk sini. u guys are like so great. korang adik adik yang baik ( for those yang bergelar adik adik ) and for those yg seangkatan dengan aku, hai fatin, dekna, intan, bie, kirin, nani, syitah and saifullah! thanks. for being such great comrade in arms. i know, sometimes, eh maksud aku most of the time aku bukan a good friend, aku got carried away by my feelings, aku jealous tak memasal la, perangai macam budak budak, haih, banyak la kan aku punya songeh tu. maaf maaf maaf. i can never survive without kamu kamu dan kamu here.

for the lecturers, u guys are the most awesome of all. miss nenny, u are like the most coolest one. mana ada aku pernah jumpa lecturer yang boleh sembang kencang pasal Lee Min Ho dalam kelas? kau ada? Miss Noraishah, u are the best. i've never met anyone like u. sungguh la aku respect dia. Madam Samiha, first time meeting u, i thought class would be a death march for me but when time passed by, your class was one of the best. Madam Sohaila, eh hai mak mertua! eh tak tak. jangan risau madam, saya takkan jadi madam punya menantu. tak takkk. takpelah madam. u are great madam. for other lecturers, Encik Zain, Puan Wan Faridah, Tuan Haji Fuad, Puan Hajah Salwa, thanks. thanks a lot for all the ilmu. ALLAH SWT will repay u guys. sorry for all the things we've said and done. u guys are the best. may ALLAH bless all of u and may anda semua di beri kekuatan untuk kuat mengajar kami setahun akan datang.

Bie , Hani, Fatin and Dekna.

half of the class.

aku duduk tak sopan. *facepalm*

adik adik sayang.

ini bukan buli. ini berkongsi kasih sayang.

bajet comel. 

their aksi.

again, its them.

kami ada matrik kad. kau ada?

eh eh. tersilap.

buka puasa.

waiting.

semart kan kami? tahuuuuuu.

sempoi. tesl 1.

sayang korang :)

hanoi #4

assalamualaikum wbt.

last night we had a meeting. at la cafe if i'm not mistaken. so we walked there. all of uf except for natt for he had some judo practise and it seemed that he is so into it. so there, i met whole lots of Vietnamese new friend. Alex, the project leader gave of the briefing of the members and what are going to happen in this becoming seminar. one of my new friend, Hienn ( aku tak tahu macam mana nak eja) she sat beside me. mula mula tu macam cakap cakap biasala. but then she started to ask me about the hijab i was wearing. she even asked me to pakaikan untuk dia. aku dalam hati, " dah kenapa minah ni? aku buat gaya butterfly macam mana aku nak gayakan shawl macam tu?" haih. tapi actually dalam hati ada rasa bangga bila a non muslim was so very excited to know how to wear hijab. rasa nak nangis pun ada.

so i made a promise to her that i will bring her a hijab, same as the one i'm wearing so that she can have the same style as me an Iris. oh, talking about Iris, that is Intan's new name. people here had called her Intern instead of Intan so she decided to change her name so that her name wont be deteriorated. so after google it up for some time, she came up with a name : Iris. i love it. it sounds unique. as for me, i dont think i need to change my name. it is easier for them to pronounce my name except for maybe they will ask me twice about my name. well, it happens all the time.

this is where we were having the meeting.

dari kiri : Max, Martin, Shehan and Long.

this is the project we are working on.

after the meeting kami took some pictures. so that was the end of our meeting. after that we head up to King's Cafe to have our dinner. it was a small cafe but really nice food. me and Iris both ordered the fried chicken with lemon grass and red pepper. it was nice. i was so hungry i couldn't wait to take any picture. 

well, this is our meal for the night. okay. no nasi and ayam. it used to be on the plate before we ate it all. good day people! 

• p/s : -gemuk, i'm waiting.
• -trying to adapt.
• -we should be proud of our own country. like seriously.

Hanoi #3

assalamualaikum wbt.

the guys are back and so we are moving upstairs so that we wont share the room with them. there are 3 Sri Lanka guys, 2 Germany, 1 Holland , and 2 Philippines. so thee there is only 1 girls, Max from the Philippine. she is so nice. just now we had a walk to the lake which i dont know what the name is. me, intan, shehan and kanna also went to the nearest supermarket to buy our things. shehan and kanna were like our body guard and it was the first time for us to go out to have some view of Hanoi.

Hanoi is a VERY busy town. Town of Honking. well, that's what iris ( Intan's new name, we'll talk about that later) call this city. it is full with tourist, every where u go, u can see foreign people. and just now when we were walking we met a Malaysian family. a nice pakcik from johor bahru too. i feel like hugging the makcik so much but all i can do is like salam her. thats all. my actuall plan is like withdrawing some money because i'm getting broke here. well, life can be pathetic here. sobs.

so we ended up buying some water and titbits. thank god for Shehan and Kanna were there. they helped a lot. it is kind of excited to have new friends here, and of course Max the Philippine girl, she is so beautiful and she's just 18. :) it's good to have them around. we feel a lot more safer. :) so this is it for today. i mean half of the day. in the evening, we'll be having a meeting. so catch u later. :)

p/s :  1.they are all nice. very nice indeed.
        2.life can be tough here. but as long as we are being cautious, it'll be fine. :)

hanoi #2

assalamualaikum wbt.

pagi yg cerah kini. eh maaf, ternyanyi pulak. okay. so ni hari kedua aku. eh dah takde kerja nk buat memang aku update je la kan? padan la muka. wifi dah jumpa. tu pun tanya shehan my other inter from sri lanka. well, he's not here sebab dia now at SAPA. dowh. jangan tanya mana sapa tu sebab aku pun tak tahu. so for today aku ingat nak stay kat bilik je la kot tapi tadi intan told me that Alex the project leader wants to see us this evening. iyolah iyolah.

semalam when first dapat wifi, first thing aku on is FB. tapi kecewa gila bila kat sini tak boleh access fb. hoi! apa negara ni? fb tu world wide kot. hailah. so aku terpaksa menggunakan khidmat my sweet little sister utk bgtau si gemuk bahawasanya aku tak boleh on fb. she did that. thanks a lot dear. and bila dia on skype and aku nampak muka dia, aku terus nangis. sumpah gila lega nampak dia walau bukan in person pun. sungguh tak tipu. depan intan pun aku main taram je nangis sungguh sungguh. sebab semalam rasa sgt hopeless and lonely. hai inche, terima kasih sebab appear when i need u  the most. susah hati tahu semalam?

hanoi #1

updating from vietnam. jangan tanya aku syok ke tak. kalau gila syok takdelah aku duk depan lappy tunggu sapa sapa online. ye dak? haih. okay okay. this is my choice so i should be happy with what i've chose. me and intan are now in an internship programme at vietnam. so utk kolej, i got two weeks early leave then others, well, agak happy sebab aku sempat lari ke alor star and spent few owesome days there. most of anak cucu tokmama in the same house at the same time except for cik mimi. tu je yg slack. then semalam aku sampai di vietnam ni.

the flight was 3 boring hours where aku dan intan slept along the way here. then tunggu 3 jam untuk jan datang amek kitorang then masuk minibus yang buat aku rasa nk muntah sebab dia drive sgt la tak convincing. asyik hon to others along the way from airport sampai la sampai hostel. scary gila. then bila masuk bilik, cari wifi pulak tak dapt. kami keluar utk have some u know, view about hanoi. cisss! sekali kena tipu bhai! a pineapple seller. a woman. dia tanya if aku nk buy ke tak nenas yg dia jual tu.i say no. but then she followed us and tiba tiba letak topi dia atas kepala aku. suruh amek gambar. okay. aku pun dengan bajet pelancongya, agreed to that and so did intan. at last kami kena paksa beli sebab dah amek gambar tdi. kesian intan lost her 200000 dong. cisss! dem gila makcik tu. aku rasa nak patah balik then baling dia dalam lake yg dekat tu. apa kau ingat aku bawak seguni ke duit dtg sini?

happy eid all.

assalamualaikum wbt.

i dont know the wish is betul or not. but still, salam aidiladha buat semua. this time, i'm spending it at kedah. with makngah's family and tokmama and ayah su and ciksu and of course, si pengarang jantungku, wan muhammad hail. its so very special this year. spending it together with family member. well, its not so perfect as cik mimi is not with us but still, tokmama seems happy to have most of her children home. alhamdulillah for the chance ALLAH. may ALLAH bless us all. plus hari ni is ayahsu's birthday. bangga la tu birthday hari raya. and just now baru celebrate, muhammad mendahului keadaan bila dia smash the cake and cried when all of us laughed at him. maybe dia ingat kami semua marah dia. aduhai sayang. how can i get mad at you when u have that smile?

p/s : nanti bila aku kawen, aku nak anak aku semua duk jauh dari rumah. then aku nak tunggu dekat koridor hari dorang nak balik. baru feel. tgk tokmama sgt happy sambut anak cucu dia balik. :')

if leaving is the only way i have, i shall leave. showing sadness is not a good thing when the person who's very important to u smiles.

ending of october.

sekali sekala aku pun nak masuk blog jugak.

assalamualaikum wbt.

its the end of october now. tragedi octobeeerrr~~~ eh maaf, ternyanyi pulak. so today is cik kak ni punya birthday, ha, cik kak yang pakai tudung biru tu. happy birthday my dear friend. may ALLAH bless u always and give u lots of happiness in this world and there to come. aku doakan yang terbaik utk kau. u are a good friend. one of a kind yang aku jumpa kat bumi IPTI ni. maaf la tak boleh bagi kau hadiah besar besar mahal mahal. tapi aku janji first gaji kita p seoul garden. tempat kau kan? so along the way nak dapat first gaji tu, i promise i'll be a good friend to u. we only known each other for these last 6 months but i have the sense that i've known u forever. thanks for always be there fatin. thanks for always give me the courage to do all i cant. thanks for the good advises. and for u yourself, there are times when life can be hard on u. there are times when u are wondering what life is. and as always, ALLAH is the only answer. and yes, there are times when we went astray. take a break and look back how far u've gone through. insyaALLAH, u can do it. i love you. yes, i do. semoga kau sentiasa bahagia dengan orang yang kau sayang. may this friendship lasts through the test of time. its a bless to know you.

p/s : its great to have your birthday at the end of the month. ngahahaha.

it's what we call life.

its hard when u love someone and u have to let him go. its hard when kau tahu dia ada orang lain selain dari kau. its hard to stand tall and smile to the world trying your hard to tell everyone that u are okay when actually u are tearing apart inside. susah. bukan senang nak get rid of all the memories.

and u perempuan, or shall i call u bitch? its not going to last long. what u give, u'll get it back. life is about up and down. maybe hari ni u're smiling on other's tears. but who knows, somewhere somehow, u'll be the one who's crying your eyes out. ALLAH tu maha adil. jangan bahagia sgt dengan benda yg tak pasti.

and kau lelaki *senyum sinis. jangan alasan too lame. just admit it. its not easy for her. u made her suffer. but i know, someday, u'll regret all the tears u gave her. u are going to look at the past and bang your head kat dinding menyesal let her go. trust me.

i pray u all the best. nikmati bahagia selagi ada. semoga apa yang kau ada sekarang kekal sampai bila bila.

and for u sahabat, i know its hard. but you're gonna make it. you're an extraordinary person. and extraordinary person will have extraordinary experience. :) go go dear. i'll be with you.

u still got a long journey to go kawan. :)

[sumber sini]

season of heartbreaks.

assalamualaikum wbt.

season of heartbreaks. well, i shall say that. some of my friends told me about what are they feeling these past few days. it is a heartache to listen to all those stories but i cant do much about it other then some advices. having friends with me whenever i'm down is a soothing feeling. it is good to have someone with you when the world is crashing down on you. listening to their stories made me realised that i'm not the only one with problems to solve. it makes me be thankful with what i have and how i am right now.

homey home.

assalamualaikum wbt.

i'm home. home is where you hang your hat. so betooooool. it feels good to be home. it feels good to wake up hearing my adik adik gaduh kat luar bilik berebut remote controller. it feels good to hear my mum babbling about bilik amir yang bersepah. it feels good to have breakfast with ba and ma and me. just three of us. it feels good when i can fetch my little angels from school. it feels good when i know i'm near you. :')

source - sini

p/s : if ai ken ten bek de taim.

changes.

assalamualaikum wbt.

time changes, so does people. so why do we need changes in our life? okay. dah kenapa intro aku mcm nak buat essay hantar untuk LDV ni? kenapa aku bercakap pasal perubahan? maybe eh bukan maybe tapi sebab aku rasa aku perlu berubah. in what sense? well, to make it simple, in every sense. 

aku ni bukan lah sopan santun lemah gemalai macam tiz zaqyah kakakku yang berlakon dalam NUR KASIH tu. sumpah. memang aku tak reti nak lembut lembut ni. tapi tu bukan alasan untuk tak boleh berubah kan? tahu. tapi. ya. ada tapi nya. tapi takde la aku nak kurang ajar tahap tapir. jangan risau, sesuai lagi buat bini niii. actually, aku rasa yang aku kena berubah bila aku feel that the way i behave can somehow affect people around me. yup. truth hurts. sumpah bukan niat aku sikit pun nak buat macam tu. bila masuk IPTI aku rasa skala ganas aku agak meningkat bila people around me semua lemah lembut. malu tahu? cik rumet pun sopan je. cik fatin pun slow je cakap nya. aku je yang errmm ermmm... kurang slow sikit cakap nya.

kadang kadang bila tgk org cakap dengan bahasakan diri dengan nama sendiri, aku cukup kagum. aku rasa orang mcm tu sgt lembut. sungguh tak tipu! aku cukup suka someone talks to others and bahasakan diri dia dengan nama dia sendiri. sangat comel. plus, aku tak boleh buat benda tu. T__T *sobs! 

bukan aku tak nak. masa masuk matrik, aku bahasakan aku hani dengan sorang je. cik mia. well, i did it. sampai now aku masih lagi using the same way. alhamdulillah. tapi bila aku nak try cakap mcm tu dengan orang lain, lidah aku mcm kaku. tak payah cakap dengan orang lain la. dengan gemok je. takdenya aku nak bahasakan aku ni hani. tekak rasa kering je. poor you gemok. 

haih. hanis hanini. you can do it! chaiyokk!!! aja aja!! 

-thanks to mr.google-

p/s : fatin, aku dh update. kau jangan terkejut kalau mlm ni aku come out dgn dua post! :) 

hari guru sedunia.

assalamualaikum wbt.

tengok tajuk di atas sana. hari guru sedunia. haha. sebenarnya aku baru tahu je pasal benda ni. apa punya bakal cikgu la aku ni kan?  selama ni aku ingat 16 mei je hari guru. well, aku pun agak terkejut. takpe la. again, SELAMAT HARI GURU SEDUNIA kepada sapa sapa aje yang bergelar guru.

dah lama tak update. sorry bloggie. sumpah busy. assignments. assignments. so hari ni ingat nak update pasal kehabisan dan kehausan air di blok B yang terchenta ni. memang kami semua sedia maklum tentang pam air yang dicuri tu. eh eh. hoi pencuri! kau dah takde benda lain ke nak curi hah? kau tahu tak air ni penting? tahu tak?

so yang tinggal hanya satu pam which is so not good sebab satu pam tak boleh nak pam air banyak. so kami takde air. takde air adalah satu nightmate. tahu? sebelum ni memang ada kura kura ura ura mengatakan akan takde air. tapi biasanya blok aku macam rilek rilek je lah sebab jarang takde air ni. tapi hari tu, hah, ambik kau! tengah mandi tiba tiba air takde. cuak kan? tahuuuuuu.

muukaddimah dah panjang. apa ni? okay. balik balik. malam tu masa aku tengah tekun hadap mr.lappy BUAT ASSIGNMENTS ( saja nak besar besar. rajin kan aku?) aku dengar bising bising kat luar. dengar budak laki duk sebut "AIR! AIR!" . aku cool je la. alah, budak laki. propaganda kan? tapi makin lama aku rasa makin tertarik pulak. tengok tingkap. haaa. tu dia! lori air bhai. aku dah excited gila. terus gi sediakan baldi and botol nak isi air. wuhuuuuu.

and at last ada la 5 6 7 8 botol kami isi dan dua baldi. cik roomate dh penat penat angkut air. aku bajet kalau air takde lagi esok nya memang aku menapak mandi kat public toilet larkin dah. sekali fikir, baru seekarang nak rasa berharganya air tu. kalau dulu, mandi dah macam berkubang. sekali tak sejuk beku tak keluar shower. and now bila nak melepaskan hajat yang satu tu pun rasa macam eh-kalau-aku-buang-now-tak-cukup-air-pulak, baru nak insaf. manusia kan? *tak terasa tak terasa*

alhamdulillah, esoknya tu ada la air tu. nak kata banyak kang nanti dituduh riak pulak. cukup la untuk buat aku mandi sambil nyanyi nyanyi. LALALALA. SABUN, DI BILIK MANDIIIIIII~~

p/s :

•  untuk post ni ada gambar sebenarnya tapi tak tahu lah kenapa tak boleh nk upload. maaf. nanti upload lagi.
• hidup masih dan makin sibuk sekarang. and still trying my best to make others happy. kawan, maaf kalau aku sakitkan hati kau dengan kesibukan aku yang terlampau ni.
• saya rindu awak gemok. :'(

perfect.

assalamualaikum wbt.

aku sebenarnya baru balik dari makan kat depan cenderewasih sana. ala, restoran 5 binatang eh maksud aku bintang tu. haaaa. pastu balik tu, aku dengan cheche (rumet) masuk kedai 2N. kalau korang budak IPTI korang tahu la apa itu 2N. 2N ni kedai serbaneka. kedai yang paling murah pernah aku jumpa sepanjang aku kat johor ni. aku memang suka murah murah ni. memang kalau shopping kat sini je. aku kalau shopping.. panggg!!! ha, kan dah kena tampar. dah kenapa cakap pasal aku shopping pulak kan? maaf maaf. bukan tu main point aku. main point aku is apa yang aku dengar dan nampak tadi.

okay. macam ni. aku tengah beli air minuman tu. maklumlah, machine air kat kolej tu lebih baik takde dari ade. menyusahkan aku je. penant bawak botol dua tiga biji sekali machine rosak. mahu aku tak marah? tamat cerita tu. sambung balik. then bila aku dah amek air tu, aku tgk ada sorang kakak ni tengah nak bayar. aku ingat dah nak siap dah, sekali ada lagi barang yang nak amek. eh kak, bukan akak je yang nak membeli dan membelah di kedai ni. aku dah sakit tangan dah pegang 3 botol air mineral tu. haih. then bila dah siap bayar, cashier tu bagi la dia resit. resit tu macam kotor sikit. tapi still boleh dibaca. and akak ni boleh cakap.

' takde resit lain ke? ni nak guna untuk ofis ni. '

the cashier looked back at the receipt and looked at her colleague and said,

' ni aje yang kita ada. '

then akak tu dengan muka berlagak nya cakap,

' lain kali, tukar la resit lain. '

and she mumbled something under her breath and aku tak dengar tu.

then blah. 

i was like. wadehek? apa masalah kau perempuan? hebat sangat ke sampai kau cakap macam tu sekali? bukan tak boleh baca pun resit tu. yang ade kaler merah tu kat tengah and kaler tu lansung tak mengganggu penglihatan sapa sapa je yang baca resit tu. aku tengok kakak cashier dua orang tu. dorang senyum aje and one of them said. " tunggu saya bukak company la eh? " aku senyum then kakak yang sorang lagi cakap " maklumlah, kami ni orang tak berpelajaran. " aku dah sentap seribu kat situ. 

hey, tolong la. memang kau pelanggan. tapi kau kena tahu hormat orang la. bukan masalah besar pun benda tu. bukan lansung kau tak boleh baca. dah kalau kau nak resit yang sempurna-tanpa-cacat-cela, kau pergi la shopping kat pavi ke mid ke wherever that u feel so besar la. tak payah nak cakap macam tu kasi orang kecik hati. plus kau beli bakul je pun. nak resit grand grand buat sendiri la. aku tengok resit tu hanya ada kesan merah yang tak banyak. lansung takde masalah kalau nak baca. 

nah. untuk kau.

kalau kau rasa kau hebat sangat, sila pergi tanam diri sendiri sekarang jugak. aku benci orang macam kau. apa kes? kau bukan hebat sangat pun. tolong. aku cakap lagi sekali. tolong hormat rasa orang lain. memang kerja dorang tak sehebat kerja kau. maybe gaji dorang tak sebanyak gaji kau. tapi cuba kau bayang dunia ni without dorang. hidup ke kau? and ingat, what u give, u get back. hukum karma la kan? tak selalunya kau kat atas, jangan sekali kau jatuh, kau meraung  macam orang gila. tengok, aku dah emo.

rindu.

rindu awak. how am i supposed to put it into words? tipu kalau saya cakap saya takde rasa apa apa lepas apa yang jadi. tipu la kalau saya boleh act like nothing happen. and tipu jugak kalau saya tak nangis kan? awak kenal saya. way too well. 

banyak yang saya nak share dengan awak. banyak yang saya nak bagitahu awak. banyak yang saya nak tunjuk awak. tapi saya tahu ni bukan lagi masa untuk saya buat semua tu. i wonder when is the time. tp macam yang awak cakap, 'there'll be time.' . i'm waiting for that. 

awak apa khabar? i hope you're doing well. macam mana dengan study? okay tak? jangan stress. kalau ada groupmate awak yang buat hal, sabar je dulu. slowtalk and nanti mesti selesai masalah tu. awak jangan diam aje kalau awak tak puas hati. tahu? saya rindu nak story kat awak. saya rindu awak. now kolej sgt busy. assignment sangat banyak. kadang kadang tu rasa tak leh nak bawak jugak. semua benda nak dalam satu masa. saya tahu awak lagi busy dari ni kan? that's why saya selalu bagitau awak dulu. saya tahu u'll understand me. 

i'll pray for u papabear. i wish u all d best. i hope the same from u. take a very good care of my heart. u have it with u now. 

ingat ni? heeee. awak comel sangat.

assalamualaikum wbt.

saya harap awak baca ni. malam ni bukan end of everything. malam ni  let just say penentu future kita. call me jiwang karat all those thing. saya tak kisah. saya buat semua ni sebab saya sayang awak. sangat. saya tak nak bila nanti semua jadi makin teruk baru saya nak rasa ni. saya sayang awak. sungguh. sumpah tak tipu. saya tak boleh buat semua ni. saya tahu tu. tapi i have to sound strong depan awak. i have to. saya tak boleh buat ni. awak cakap awak tak percaya bila saya cakap i will keep holding on to you. trust me sayang, u r my weakness. kalau awak risau saya might go to someone else, i do feel the same thing to. dont fall for others. please. i beg u. jagan benci saya sebab buat keputusan ni. this is for both of us. i will keep u with me. sampai bila bila. saya, awak punya sampai d day u said that u dont want me anymore. and awak, saya punya sampai bila bila. saya mintak maaf. saya tahu saya childish. benda ni tak  mudah untuk saya. 4 tahun saya dgn awak. 4 tahun tu bukan masa yang short. it's a long time. banyak saya dah share dgn awak. awak kenal sy in every way. jangan benci saya sbb ni. saya tak pernah boleh benci awak. tu saya pasti. jangan benci saya. i'm begging u for that. pray for me a lot sbb u are my strength. jaga diri awak sayang. study smart. build that dream house of yours. insyaALLAH bila kita jumpa nanti, there'll be no tears anymore. insyaALLAH bila kita jumpa nanti saya is a mrs. architect's lecturer and u'll be my mr. architect. jangan work too hard. good luck in every little thing that u do. remember, i'm here, always thinking of u. jangan lupa saya. jangan benci saya. saya sayang awak. i love u. and that's d only reason why i did all this thing. saya cinta awak.

i wont say goodbye. i hate goodbyes. goodbyes are the end. this is not the end. this is the start of a new chapter of our journey together. we may not be beside each other to go through this journey, but i will have u here in my heart to keep me strong to face everything that will come in my way. i wish the same for u. i hope u will keep me in ur heart to keep u company anywhere u go. saya doakan yang terbaik untuk awak. get prepare to see me encik architect saya punya. may ALLAH bless.

p/s : this is not the end u know. this is the beginning.

hari yang gelap.

assalamualaikum wbt.

if i ever do u wrong, i'm sorry. just please stop make me feel this way. you know how i feel for u.

wordless

rindu. sumpah rindu.

hensem.

assalamualaikum wbt.

semalam birthday adik aku yang amir yusoff tu. happy birthday dear boy. 17 already. semoga panjang umur dan dimurahkan rezeki. kakak doakan amir berjaya dunia akhirat. kakak doakan amir bahagia sentiasa.

bila duduk diam diam sorang sorang, aku tak sangka yang adik adik semua dah besar. sekali fikir macam tak percaya. kalau dulu aku pantang jumpa dengan amir, ada je yang nak digaduhkan. waima kalau tercuit sikit pun boleh tahap berbunuhan bak kata ma. sekarang? kalau balik rumah and dia takde rasa macam bosan gila boleh? takde yang nak memekak buat lawak yang buat aku nak terkeluar anak tekak kalau gelak. sekarang dah boleh bertukar pendapat tanya masalah story pasal awek(s) dia kat aku. lawak. amir bising. tukang lawak rumah tu memang dia aje. baran sikit, biasala kan? lelaki. tapi dalam ganas baran dia pun, dia anak manja ma. benci aku. pernah dia cakap kat ma " amir tak kisahla kalau tak sambung study pun asal tak jauh dengan ma." eheh! see? apa lagi aku boleh cakap?

tu dia anak ma. yang kat sebelah tu maklong aku.

kalau kakchik pulak, hemmm. the only adik perempuan yang aku ada. cantik manis kecik molek je orangnya. hey, tengok kakak la kan? kemana tak tumpahnya kuah kalau tak ke lantai? HAHA. okay. fine. dia tak sama pun macam aku. dia way way lawa than me. tapi kalau orang cakap dia lawa, aku sebagai kakak haruslah bangga kan? kembang gitu. * gelak sambil tutup mulut * kakchik ni dia diam sikit. eh diam ke? diam la kalau nak compare dengan aku kan? fine. dia paling anti bergambar. uih, kalau dalam phone aku tu ada gambar dia mmg kira ajaib la. memang miracle gila kalau ada. masuk form 1 aje dah ada peminat misteri tapi tak lagi misteri bila si abang tahu dan bagi sebijik dua kat budak laki tu. alahai, nasibla kan ada abang? oh oh. and she's a cat lover. wah wah. dia kalau ada kucing, aku golek golek depan dia pun dia buat tak tahu aje. 

so ni dia adik perempuan kesayangan aku. dia cukup tak suka gamba ni. tapi aku suka.

as for adik, ali faqimi. semua different. dia yang paling diam. paling RAJIN. dia boleh salin balik semua short stories yang dia baca dalam satu buku lain. dia tak suka main kat luar sangat. adik lagi prefer duduk dalam rumah. reading or maybe just talking to ma or help ma with the flowers belakang rumah. dulu aku pernah fikir, ' adik ni macam lembut ke?' sumpah risau. yelah, dia takde nya nak main ganas ganas macam amir tu. toys dia semua tiptop. tukang yang musnahkan toys tu of course la amir yusoff kan? dia sangat teratur. tak payah la nak usik barang dia yang tersusun lawa tu. dia organized. ikut ma kot? hahaha. and aku rasa dia ni sorang lagi anak ma. kalau amir dah macam tu, adik lagi la super anak ma. dia dah darjah 4 tapi sekali pun dia tak pernah berenggang dengan ma. lagi la over kan? kalau aku dulu ada jugak la tido rumah makcik aku ka tokmama ka. adik tak. lansung tak. comel je. oh dan sekarang dia ada kegilaan baru TREASURE OF THE EARTH. ala, buku yang ada koleksi batu mineral tu. semalam dia bagitau yang ma belikan dia yang siri ke 6. punya la happy sampai semput semput nak bagitau aku. ingat lagi dulu, dia la mangsa kiss aku. balik sekolah mmg pipi dia jadi mangsa kiss. tapi now dia makin besar. malu mungkin. tp kalau time aku nak balik johor he will still give me those hugs and kisses. adik kan?

ini adik. ali faqimi. 

adik adik semua dah besar. dah ada jalan hidup sendiri untuk dorang. dah ada hopes and dreams sendiri untuk dorang kejar. dah ada matlamat sendiri untuk dorang capai. sungguh tak tipu bila cakap rindu suasana dulu. bila seua kecik lagi. tapi ni hukum alam. ada adik adik yang besar not bad. ada geng nak gosip. ada geng nak buli ma and ba. ada geng nak tido lewat. ada geng nak buat kerja jahat. and behind all of us, ada dua orang yang amat amat penting untuk kitorang 

meet encik zulkifli n puan wan azlini. here are my nyawa. my soulmates and my everything. we're nothing without them.

bidadari syurga.

assalamualaikum wbt.

dh 9 hari rasanya selepas 4 september. ma's birthday. 2nd time aku takde dengan dia untuk celebrate hari lahir ma. kali ni rasanya lagi sedih sebab aku on the way balik ke JB on that date. pagi tu dalam bas aku text ma dengan air mata meleleh enam baldi. okay, tang enam baldi tu aku tambah je. sedih. bila jauh dengan ma. bila ingat balik, aku ni bukan a good daughter pun. sangat tak good. tapi bukan bad. fikirla macam mana tu. ma banyak sabar dengan aku so di kesempatan ini, i'd like to wish her even aku tahu dia takkan baca post ni tapi aku nak jugak buat.

ma,

happy birthday. kakak doakan ma selalu. may ALLAH bless u always. semoga ma panjang umur dan dimurahkan rezeki. semoga ma sentiasa tabah nak face semua benda yang happen to u. as u always said to me, ' kita ada ujian sebab ALLAH sayang kita. " kan ma? kakak doakan ma happy selalu. thanks for everything. 19 tahun dah kakak hidup and tak sehari pun kakak tak sayang ma. u are the best. u r my bestfriend. i love u. ALLAH knows how much. kakak kagum dengan ma. i adore u so much. even it's hard for u, still, u do it without regretting it. u r a super mom. i wish i can be like u sebab kakak tahu kalau kakak in ur shoes, kakak tak pasti kakak boleh jadi sekuat ma. forgive me ma, for all the misbehaves. kakak tahu, dalam 4 orang anak ma, kakak la yang paling degil kan? kakak keras. as u always said. i do not know how to express my feelings. i dont know how to just simply say 'i love u' right in front of u. malu maybe. kakak selalu buat ma sakit hati kan? buat ma sedih. buat ma marah. with all the perangai i have. i wish i am a good daughter to u. remember how u like to compare me with anak jiran kita yang pandai masak sup tu? i was so marah that time. but when i look back i know ma nak kakak pandai masak macam dia kan? tapi kakak tamau pandai masak macam dia, kakak nak pandai masak macam ma. how i wish i can be like u ma. sorry ma. for this time being, there will be no grand mahal hadiah for u. not yet. kakak tak mampu lagi nak bagi ma semua tu. insyaALLAH, one day nanti bila kakak dah kerja dah jadi teacher, kakak bagi ma semua yang ma nak. okay ma? doakan kakak. doakan kakak can give u all u want. doakan kakak can make u proud. doakan kakak boleh help adik adik kakak. doakan kakak selamat dunia n akhirat. how i wish i'm with u right now ma. how i wish i can be with u right now. call me manja or whatever,kakak tak kisah. i need u. kakak doakan ma selalu. kakak doakan ma sihat sihat saja. kakak doakan ma dunia akhirat. ma, thanks for everything and i'm sorry for all my mistakes. 

i love you.

wordless monday.

assalamualaikum wbt.

hari ni baru hari isnin. tapi rasa macam aku masih lagi di minggu lepas where all the things stuck in my mind. lagi 5 hari nak balik. betul la kata ma, " kalau kita nak buat apa apa, jangan pernah kira berapa lama lagi tinggal sebab benda tu akan buat kita rasa lagi jauh dan lama. " . tak tahu why tapi kali ni 5 hari tu rasa sangat panjang. sangat panjang. ya  ulang lagi. sangat panjang. kenapa? entah. mungkin faktor sekeliling yang buat aku rasa macam ni.

penat. sumpah penat. mungkin body ni dah terlampau biasa dengan bersenang lenang and bila dah dapat kejutan macam ni baru nak sedar. manusia kan? apa yang aku ngarutkan ni sebenarnya? okay. back to the main topic : ASSIGNMENT SANGAT BANYAK. as simple as that. mmg simple. tapi nak menyiapkan assignment tu tak simple. semua nak di submit sebelum raya. dengan nak kena buat persiapan untuk ke Endau Rompin lepas raya nanti. banyak. bila cakap dengan ma baru sedar diri ni dah besar. bakal bergelar pendidik. ma, u are always right. it's just me who always refused to listen to u.

bukan tak pernah rasa stress macam ni tapi tak tahu kenapa kali ni rasa berat sangat. sadis kan feeling ni? mungkin di matrik dulu aku hanya dilatih dan berlatih untuk mengejar pointer bukan assignment. ma cakap ni la time untuk belajar. bukan dari segi assignment saja. belajar hidup. belajar urus masa. belajar kawal keadaan. belajar kenal kawan. belajar rasa sabar. belajar. by all means. again, ma's right.

tak sabar nak balik. tak sabar nak tgk ma ba adik adik and of course encik ehemm ehemm. rindu. apa ni? sebut nama pun dah boleh sengih sengih? geli kan? haha. at least i smiled. thanks for those who made me smile. gemok : for all the time making me laugh and smile then laugh again. smurf : for those supports. azrul : for those kata kata hikmat. baby : for the soothing smile.

p/s: rasa sgt nak terbang bila adik nak bercakap hanya sebab nak bagitau markah paper english dia makin meningkat. bila boleh balik?

berhabuk.

assalamualaikum wbt.

ohoi orang kampung! ahhhaaaaaaaaaaa. dah lama tak update, oh maklumlah, mak busy sikit sekarang. ngeh ngeh ngeh. busy dan jugak menghadapai satu penyakit : sebelum-tengok-lappy-idea-mencurah-bila-tengok-lappy-terus-blank. kronik dan panjang kan penyakit tuh? hmm. dah jenuh gi check kat doc.

penat siapkan ni semalam.

so dua tiga empat lima menjak ni mmg sangat sibuk. mana tak nya, nak masak untuk berbuka, nak pikir lauk untuk sahur, nak siapkan tempahan baju raya, biskut raya, kek lapis tu sampai ttiga empat lapis kena buat. memang tak sempat nak bukak blog. suri rumah berjaya kan?

okay okay. bukan tu hakikatnya. sibuk sangat dengan assignment yang mencurah curah macam hujan lebat kat bumi TEMENGGUNG IBRAHIM ni. berbuka mmg tak kat bilik kat terminal sana. sedih. gemok pun dah banyak kali bising.

" asyik keluar aje ni. tak boleh duduk diam diam dalam bilik ke? "

eheh. soalan maut. ada ke? sayang, kalau saya dalam bilik aje, nak makan apa? takkan nak makan angin kot? kembung la makcik ni ha. saya keluar untuk cari makanan aje. kalau bersahur pulak memang aku telan roti dengan tuna aje. sedih? jangan cakap la. tapi tahan la. takkan nak tersedu sedu sambil makan kot? over la tuh. okayy. berbalik kepada soal assignment yang banyak tu, aku memang no komen. actually, tak boleh komen. memang banyak. LDV LDS ES SS LS IP BMT. ah semua la senang cakap. yang paling tak tahan tang BMT atau bahasa mudahnya Basic MaThematics. tapi kali ni belajar dalam bahasa melayu. HAHA. sumpah pelik. dah berapa tahun duk belajar prime number sekali datang sini dia tanya nombor perdana. ah sudah! bengong bengong jugak la. so untuk assignmet BMT, kitorang kena bajet untuk beli kereta. muka aku memang tak tau apa apa pasal kereta sekali kena beli kereta. sekarang baru nak faham pasal selok belok nak beli kereta. hampeh sungguh diri sendiri ni. selalu aje dengar ba duk sebut pasal prosedur nak beli kereta tapi tak pernah nak ambik port. padan muka.

tapi kan, dalam aku nak siapkan assignment ni, banyak aku fikir. start hari ni nak kena jimat jimat. tak boleh asyik nak berjimba aje. dah kena start fikir pasal masa depan. yeah, bunyi macam poyo gila tapi kisah pulak aku kan? hidup aku. so memang kena fikir banyak. and assignment ni buat aku rasa nak menjayakan plan aku  :

sexy kan dia? nk nk nk gemok? can can?

tak jadi nak beli mini dengan duit sendiri. kena gunakan khidmat bakal suami yang baik hati lagi hensem. so bakal suami, apa kata untuk hantaran tu awak insert sama sebijik mini coop? yeah, awak sangat baik sayang! :)

p/s : cant wait to see u sayang! 

fantastic four.

it has been four years gemok. four years filled with everything. four long-hard-sweet-bitter-cute years together. do you know that? i hope you do. thanks ya encik gemok? for comforting me when i'm sad. for tahan dengan saya when i threw you all the bad thoughts and words too. for all the misbehaves. for the childish perangai that you dont like. for the always kacau you when awak tgh buat design tengah tengah malam. for being too jealous. for nak jugak sugar glider * but it is cute, awak pun cakap macam tu. * for nak skyping dengan awak even when i know you're super duper busy. for making you do all the things you dont want to. for buat awak jealous. for everything in fact. 

sorry. i know i'm not a good for you. but i can be the best for you. trust me. 

thanks. for all these wonderful years. suka awak la. thanks sebab temankan saya stay up. thanks for keeping me company when i'm sleepy. thanks for jadi my alarm clock. thanks for tolong download movies untuk saya. thanks for tolong carikan tiket balik untuk saya. thanks for always cakap those words that i wanna hear. thanks for being my other better half. 

i hope you read all these. and last but not least. i'm telling you thing that u're going to listen for each day you spent with me. 

' I LOVE YOU.'

i wanna grow old with you gemok!

happy fantastic four.

wish you the best.

may ALLAH bless you sayang. 

hidup

baba, oh my. happy fasting all.

assalamualaikum wbt.

hari ni satu ogos duaribusebelas. bersamaan dengan satu ramadhan. my second time berpuasa jauh from home. kalau dulu jauh di kuala pilah sana, kali ni lagi jauh di johor bahru sini. sedih? ermm ermm tipu kalau aku cakap aku tak sedih apatah lagi tak nangis. memang bukan saya la kan? okay fine. aku nangis. masa cakap dengan ma semalam pun aku nangis. ma pun sound nak nangis jugak. entah la. sangat sedih sungguh sedih teramat sedih. maaf. nampaknya aku sudah masuk kelas bahasa melayu di sini. cuba bagitahu aku sapa yang tak sedih tak berpuasa kat rumah? apa? ada yang tak sedih? omaigod! cuba check, orang ka tunggul kayu tu. tipu la tak sedih. 

aku rasa memang la sedih. tapi kali ni aku rasa aku boleh control all those feelings. yup yup. sama la macam dealing dengan homesick tu. aku rasa kali ni aku tak la seteruk masa kat matrik dulu. hanis hanini dah besar kan? * iyelah tu. ini ayat penyedap hati sendiri *

bukan aku tak jeles dengar kawan tu balik rumah kawan ni balik rumah. jeles bhai. macam kau tengah lapar, then ada kawan kawan kau ajak kau gi makan situ gi makan sini tapi kau tak boleh ikut sebab assignment kau menggunung. .okay? faham dak? so memang la aku jeles tapi aku tau kalau setakat aku nak balik untuk weekends aje memang tak berbaloi. dalam bas dah setengah hari. then kalau nak ponteng kelas sebab nak balik rumah, aku rasa itu quite childish. cuti panjang kan ada? tapi pada sesiapa yang nak balik jugak tak kesah la. i'm just voicing out my opinion. kita negara yang bebas bersuara kan?

so di bulan Ramadhan yang mulia ni, aku eh i mean, saya, nur hanis hanini binti zulkifli dengan berbesar hatinya mengucapkan selamat berpuasa kepada seluruh umat Islam tak kira kat mana pun kita berada. semoga puasa kali ini lebih bermakna dan membawa seribu rahmat kepada kita. dan juga semoga kita sama sama dapat mengejar segala pahala yang ALLAH swt offer sepanjang bulan yang mulia ini. 

and also, 

happy birthday!

ALLAH selamatkan kamu,

ALLAH selamatkan kamu,

ALLAH selamatkan wan azliza,

ALLAH selamatkan kamu.

happy birthday my dearest lovely beautiful mak ngah! i'm such a lucky girl to have u as my aunty! u're the most greatest aunty anyone could ever have. may ALLAH bless u mak ngah. semoga panjang umur dan dimurahkan rezeki oleh-Nya. kakak doakan yang terbaik untuk mak ngah. even after all the hard thing, u still stand up tall and smile to the world. u r ma's beloved adik kan? i love you. u r my second ma ah? thanks for everything. kakak doakan mak ngan always happy with your family and me too. kakak doakan mak ngah get what u want. kakak doakan segala yang baik untuk mak ngah. and last but not least again : I LOVE YOU.

pendidik.

hari ni hari jumaat. yeah, semua tau tu. ditakdirkan pulak hari ni takde kelas * yahuuuuuuuuu kat sini * tapi. ye ada tapi nya, tapi kami kami WAJIB menghadiri satu seminar. seminar jiwa pendidik. * eceh, bunyi dah macam bekerjaya kan? *

dekna and fatin. ehemm. mmg begini seminar kami.

yang kat bawah tu artwork aku. * wink wink * atas tu, tuan pengarah yang kami kami cintai. 

again, its dekna and fatin. dekna tak leh blah siap ada peace peace.

frankly speaking takde apa pun yang aku dapat from seminar tu. macam teruk kan? macam mana nak jadi cikgu kalau macam ni? insyaALLAH, boleh berubah ke arah yang lebih baik kan? insyaALLAH. so seminar tu hanya melibatkan pembentangan kertas kerja. yang first pasal stres and the second one is about kaunseling if aku tak silap. so macam yang aku cakap la. takde apa yang aku dapat. serius takde. tapi at least aku boleh spend time dengan friends. kelas maths pun batal so mmg aku end up golek golek aje dalam bilik ni. tak sedar diri kerja menggunung mintak di siapkan. hanis hanini memang macam ni. kan? bila nak sedar ni?