wordless friday.

losing is never easy. earlier this morning i was told by intan about her father. he'd passed away. in his sleep. when he was 64 yo. intan received a call from her brother this morning that her father had passed away. and when she told me about it this morning, i was stunned. i could not find any words to console her. i went to her room just to see she was crumpled down on the bed, crying. yeah, literally, she was crumpled down. i could not help but cried when i saw the tears drowned from her face. i did not know what to say.

intan's situation, is a wake up call for me. my parents are not getting younger nor healthier. how i wish i can be home now. seeing intan cried, it shattered my heart. but no words are there to ease her pain, her lost. i wish i can find any words to soothe her but i know there isn't any. it's hard losing someone. to know the fact that the person will never coming back again. i think back of me, myself. i haven't be a good daughter myself. i hardly made them proud. but i know i love them. with all i have. and being 20 now, i know i need to be someone in my life. i need to make them proud of me. it's because i may be running out of time. seriously, i don't want them to leave me. not yet. but it'll come. any time soon. i don't know if i am ready for that. how can you be strong when you lost the one that you love? the one that is so dear to you? ya ALLAH, please, give me some chance, to spend more time with them. to pay back all the things that they have done to me, to be a daughter that they will be proud of. please. :'(

i wish ma and ba will have the chance to see me be a teacher. i wish they will see me on my first day get to school. i wish they will be there on my wedding day. i wish for them to always be with me. but too much wish is not possible. so for this time being, i'm just wishing that they will always be in good health, away from all dangers. i'm too far away from home. i wish for their safety. may ALLAH bless all of them.

p/s: intan, i know it's hard. it's even next to possible. but i know you are strong. ALLAH wont put us in trouble if He knows we cannot face it. He knows you can face it. ALLAH loves him more. Let us always pray for your Ayah. :') InsyaALLAH, dia ditempatkan di kalangan mereka yang beriman.